It only gets harder the more that you know.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
i've never really managed to complete any goals i've set so far in my life. so im determined to meet them this time! i really am! im never known as someone who can perservere eh, this time im quite sure i will. bring it on!
i hate being fickle minded. but sometimes it just cant be helped. i cant really see where you are coming from. you just make me confused most of the time. i dont know why sometimes being with you just makes me feel smaller and smaller until i feel like im disappearing. any thread of confidence just evaporate. seriously, its driving me crazy.
i dont know whether is this who you really are or who you are turning into and whether you are trying hard to turn yourself into someone new but honestly speaking, its disgusting. i might be wrong but the way you are behaving just seems like an act. i hate the way you behave, i hate the way you talk and maybe even the way you think. i have no idea why you want to transform yourself into something you are not, or maybe it was who you really are and the one i actually knew was just a front put up by you. i thought you were different, i thought you were great. but now you just irks me. if you think this is being cool. let me tell you you are going the wrong way.
i hate my new classroom. its just so out of the way. and with the air con removed im most certain i'll feel like im trapped in a jail cell everytime tutorial's on. they should just relocate us! not even one week of school and i feel like i cant cope with it anymore. this is just so screwed.
oh yeah, new yr's eve was one exciting event of the year. i think its the first time ever i got drunk. i was just talking so loudly and laughing ever so often that when i think back i am just so embarrassed of my behavior! but yes, you feel high up there with the great great company. i love you guys!
wha can i say? you just blow my mind off time and again and again and again. SHIT.
eileen
7:39 AM