It only gets harder the more that you know.
Monday, July 18, 2005
tactful or tactless? thing is tactful guys are good with their words, slick with their deeds, strangely attractive BUT mostly not dependable. on the other hand, tactless guys are clumsy with their words, dumb with their actions, initially awfully cute BUT after some time you cant help feeling irritated around them. so tell me where to get those tactful yet caring yet thoughtful yet lovable yet faithful men.
most of the time its a choice between tactful and tactless isnt it? well then, its a tough one. how is it when you get older, relationships get so complicated? how is it its not longer with love anything is possible anymore? i dont mean to lose the faith but looking at those around me i cant help me. how is it they become burdens that get heavier with each step you take to move ahead? how is it starting one and ending one is no longer just you and him but factors like friends and habits come in as well?
its a viscious cycle i know and im all caught up in it. moving along without knowing why so. getting sick and tired with the same old probs and the same old conversations. i dont know wha i want, i dont know if im asking for too much. i am so scared it might turn out to be a mistake. i hate the things going through my head. i hate myself for harbouring such thoughts. i hate accounting for wha i say.
sometimes i feel like im having a relationship with myself instead of you. im thinking of the solutions to the probs, im telling you wha to do to make me feel happy and contented. i know its not supposed to be like that but wha can i do when you are helpless and ignorant but desperate to solve the prob at the same time? it happens once, twice and more and more. it wears me out.
sometimes i wish i am as simple as you are. then our relationship wont be that difficult to work out.
dont ask me wha i want, i dont know wha i want. dont hate me cause you know its unfair. i wish one day everything will be right again without me to do anything nor you to do anything, cause there you are as clueless as ever and here i am are worn out as ever.
slow it down, keep them away,
eileen.
12:29 AM