can you forgive me? cause i dont think i can do it, and it scares me when i know i cant do it, if i cant study, wha else can i do?

i wish for a time machine, i wish to be just like peter pan, i wish i dont have to grow up, i wish acing my exams was easier. i wish i was five again and when my face is salty from all the tears, everything will be fine again. so many wishes wished, so many wishes not granted.

i try to imagine wha would it be like to not have shin by my side and then i decided against it in the eleventh hour cause im afraid i might cry and go berserk. God has his ironic sense of humor, if he made me sucha weakling, why did he make me detest being a weakling?

suddenly while im typing this entry, shin's words came back to me, she said everyone has their own troubles, you may see them laughing away, living sucha carefree life but its just that they dont show their loneliness, their troubles. when i try thinking about it, im not that scared anymore, at least, im not alone on this gloomy and intimidating road to success. success is sweet, but you never get to it until you've went against all odds.

as i browsed through blogs today, i realised each person's entry is somehow related to wha they have read in another's entry. and then i fathomed, in someways, we're interlinked. perhaps, the world is not such a cold place after all. perhaps, the warmth will come when the winter has passed, though long, though grey, though cold and lonely, its worth the wait, its worth the endurance. you cant make a rainbow without a lil' rain. (:

they say the one who listens, who speaks well, who cares and loves most, is the one who truly needs some love.