had a terribly long day, been staring at the computer screen for five minutes, dont know where to start. i have completely no idea whyy it felt like 5 decades before school finally ended and i can finally get back home.

pretty upset now about the results, but i guess there's no point crying over spilt milk, i'll just have to try doubly hard for my o's. i was taking it really hard and it scared the shit outta me when i have thoughts that i might not be able to enter a not-so-bad jc. but then i mulled over it and thought it would not be that bad after all, its not like its the end of the world isnt it? its not like if i cant enter a reputable jc im dense right?

i relish my mom's love for me, she never says much but i know deep inside she wish that i'd do well. she doesnt always talk about my results now, unlike the past where i'd get awfuls lectures and even spankings. but when she realised im no longer a baby, she had stopped her nagging, hoping i'd excel this way, w/o the pressure she was issuing.

but no, i disappoint her time and again. she will always question me, have you done your best? nothing more than that. sometimes i wonder if its because she doesnt care thats whyy she seemed to be unperturbed by my horrendous results. but i was wrong, its because she knows i feel bad enough and doesnt want to rub it in.

nuff' said of the thick emotions im feeling right now. it adds on my love for her since she got me my chucks yday! hurray!! got myself a seksay tang top as well, bysi was having an offer see, and since it was pretty cheap and looks quite sophiscated so i bought it. hahaa. convinced mom to gimme that versace red jeans perfume she bought yday, but i still think moonflower is the best, i mean among those i own, cause otherwise, anna sui is the best. (((:

read something about the parallel universe yday in the novel i was reading. and it means that in another universe located somewhere in the milky way maybe, there's another you. and that you is doing exactly wha you are doing here but the results are totally the opposite. so i guess, the other me in that universe must be acing her exams. (:

best wishes to the other me,
lucyleen*