Wednesday, March 17, 2004
I'm sick. Yeaa, seriously sick, my head hurts like hell and so does my stomach. My nose wun stop running and i cant smell anything, the dinner was tasteless, i committed such a sinful sin. I actually threw away like more than 3/4 of the rice. Goodness, how much worse can it get? hahars. Bad things always come all at the same time, how to handle it, i'm not too sure either. Been sleeping alot. I really really dun wanna be sick at this pt of time, not now when i wanna get real busy to stop myself frm thinking bt things tt wun stop appearing in my mind. Have u ever have the feeling like u r sleeping more and more each day and it seems like u are dying, just losing grip on the world? hahars. I feel tt way. I seriously swear tt i shant fall in love or whaeva shit again cuz in tt case it means no more hurt and i wouldnt need to do things i would rather die than doing but still did in the end for other's gd. It feels like the tears are stuck cuz my nose and ear are blocked. So mayb my eyes will get blocked eventually and i'll go blind. Then after tt my brain and heart shall get blocked too, and i'll die. Sucks man, the herbal tea is like so goddamn bitter, and mum say if i dun drink it i shall drink tt most horrible thing on earth, which has got sth to do with a deér's horn?! God, i could still remember how i threw up the first and only time i drank it when i was still veri young. YUCKS. I wonder when will happiness ever look at me? It's nv coming back, walking further and further away. I hope my decision will not be one tt make me regret. But anyway, this is the best for everyone.
9:31 PM